My Greatest Honour

these days i been thinking and thinking about my future

as u all know i am graduating soon (in 3 weeks time)

a lots of things that i need to consider while choosing my first job

salary, place of working, future prospect..and stuff

sadly enough..

i actually forget what's the reason i come to study

forget my passion, my dream what i've been pursuit these years

totally lost in direction and measuring God's grace with world standard

i rmb i was so firm and tell everyone when i  giving the chance to study

i said "I will come back and serve young on this land for God, this is my calling"

but

in this 2 years..world standard shake my faith

i began to plan..compare..negotiate

become more and more materialistic

I wanted to have so called "comfort life" or "successful life" on world standard

greedy make me too blind to see God's lead, grace and calling

however

our God is faithful, kind and full with grace and mercy

this morning service

a song, and the sermon

like a arrow go direct into my heart

the lyric goes "my greatest honour will always be to serve my Lord my King"

and pastor sharing on Luke 12:24

my tears keep dropping

how silly I am to reject such a wonderful privilege to serve Him

how blind I am to compare His provide and promise with world standard

thank God

I am firm once again

and i will stay firm with Him

take up my cross and run along with Him

cos Lord himself is my shield, my treasure and my provider

whom and what should I fear

Lord

forgive my greed, my doubt 

I stand firm once again

and I offer up my life to you

may you guide me, train me, walk with me

until my very last day

amen