life

back to hometown about a week..
don't know since when i seem to prefer to stay alone than hanging around with ppl..
prefer to do painting alone..
online alone..
even shopping alone..

paul said to me
"maybe we need to cut u into half to understand you"
hehe..
am i really that complicated?

just feel harder and harder to communicate with ppl around me
no one seems can understand my needs
and i cant understand theirs too
sometimes i feel so fake when there are situations require me to use my PR skill to "entertain" ppl
i can't feel passion in my life
i can't feel love
i can't feel anything
life really become a tasteless job for me

dear lord
can you hear me?
i am dying..dying..